JokeFlash 10/2000    |    Kahl Consultants    | Vol.2, No. 10 Read JokeFlash! Stay silly in a crazy world. CONTENTS: only the finest recycled jokes for all ages. ========= NEWSJOKE ========= Billionaires for Bush (or Gore) ------------------------------ Election coming up and you still don't know who to vote for? These guys want you to "Vote for Bush or Gore--Because Inequality Is Not Growing Fast Enough." Be sure to check out their Candidate Comparison, where campaign contributions bring amazing returns on investment: http://www.billionairesforbushorgore.com/ ============ !!JOKEFLASH!! ============ HEY FROGGIE! ------------------ A kindergarten teacher had a pupil tell her he had found a frog. She inquired as to whether it was! alive or dead. "Dead," she was informed. "How do you know?" she asked. "Because I pissed in his ear," said the child, innocently. "You did WHAT?!?" squealed the teacher in surprise. "You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst" and he didn't move. MARY POPPINS DOES GANDHI ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Thanks Stu] Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him..... (this is so bad it's good:) a super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. ANAGRAMS ~~~~~~~~~~ [Thanks Yolette] Anagram: a word or phrase made by transposing or rearranging the letters of another word or phrase. >Dormitory >When you rearrange the letters: >Dirty Room > >Evangelist >When you rearrange the letters: >Evil's Agent > >Desperation >When you rearrange the letters: >A Rope Ends It > >The Morse Code >When you rearrange the letters: >Here Come Dots > >Slot Machines >When you rearrange the letters: >Cash Lost in 'em > >Animosity >When you rearrange the letters: >Is No Amity > >Mother-in-law >When you rearrange the letters: >Woman Hitler > >Snooze Alarms >When you rearrange the letters: >Alas! No More Z's > >A Decimal Point >When you rearrange the letters: >I'm a Dot in Place > >The Earthquakes >When you rearrange the letters: >That Queer Shake > >Eleven plus two >When you rearrange the letters: >Twelve plus one > >And for the grand finale: > >PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA >It can be rearranged (with no letters left over, and using each letter only once) into: >TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS TALK IS CHEAP! -------------------- So many deals for your phone calls, how to choose the best? See what Global Com offers! Support JokeFlash and visit GlobalCom: http://www.kahl.net/global ============================== TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION ============================== Keeping Abreast of Forest Issues ---------------------------------- Spotted owls haven't stopped clearcutting in Northern California, but four women were able to slow things down a bit. The women held a topless prayer vigil in the small coastal town of Westport on Oct. 15 to call attention to clearcutting they say will pollute local waterways. Protester Dona "La Tigresa" Nieto, who had been chanting poems at the loggers before her decision to disrobe: "I think it was quite effective because we stopped them in their tracks a couple of times. Poetry is powerful and it turns out that breasts are pretty powerful, too". Source: AP/Sacramento Bee ----------------------- COME AND GET IT! ----------------------- Forget the mall! Buy online at Amazon! Get some dirt cheap books, music and much more now. Grab some comics or other funny literature for 20% off or more! PLEASE SUPPORT JOKEFLASH by using this link: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect-home/kahlconsultants ========= JOKESITES ========= HICKPHONICS ------------------ Southern slang is also known as "Hickphonics." Brush up with excerpts from the Hickphonics/ English dictionary: http://www.funstun.com/hick.htm Thanks to all who wrote in. If I recycled one of your jokes be proud, you joker. Cheers, Alex Kahl Consultants Humor. Use it appropriately. Put it in our hands. Visit us at http://www.kahl.net THE PLUG ======== Having fun at work? How has your business been performing? Let Kahl Consultants help. Technology. Use it appropriately. Put it in our hands. ============== THE PUNCH LINE ============== NO MORE OIL ----------------- [Thanks R.C.] There are a lot of folks that can't understand how we ran out of oil here in the USA. Well, here's the answer: It's simple.........nobody bothered to check the oil. They didn't know we were getting low. And of course the reason for that is geographical. Most all the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma, and all the dipsticks are in Washington, DC {¨} If you got this far you probably wet your pants uncontrollably. Share this warm feeling with others!! Please forward JokeFlash to your best friends. Remember, the best things in life are free. |< <