JokeFlash HALLOWEEN 2001    |    Vol.3, No. 8-10 Read JokeFlash! Stay silly in a crazy world. ========= NEWSJOKE ========= No Drinking or Gambling in Graveyards? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MANILA (Reuters) - Philippine police warned of drunkenness, gambling and kidnappings in the country's graveyards during All Saints' Day, a national holiday when families gather to honor the dead. Thousands of people in the mostly Catholic country will gather in cemeteries Thursday, pitching tents to eat picnics and play board games between headstones decorated with flowers and candles. A town on the southern island of Mindanao banned alcohol and gambling from its cemeteries, citing troubles in previous years. "Just pray," a newspaper quoted town mayor Romeo Arana as saying. KC TECHSHOP ----------------- Shop at the TechShop! *  MONEY-SAVING RANKINGS - we list the best sites for comparison shopping, reviews and infos. * "SWEET SPOT" SHOPPING LISTS - for PC DESKTOPs and LAPTOPs. Get the best price-to-quality ratio! OCTOBER DEAL$: Epson Stylus Color 777 Inkjet Printer 2880 x 720 dpi ONLY: $60 Pacific Image Magic Keys 1236C Scanner 600 x 1200 dpi ONLY: $30 AOC 7ELR 17" Flat Tube Monitor 1280x1024 0.27 dp ONLY: $160 Hardware or software, deals on technology: http://www.kahl.net/shopping ============ !!JOKEFLASH!! ============ Top 12 Pick-Up Lines Used by Star Wars Fans ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 12. Hey, beautiful. What’s a nice girl like you doing waiting in line without bathing for 10 days? 11. Your place or my Mom’s? 10. I . . . uh . . . ummm . . . I . . . uh . . . (slaps own forehead) Stupid! STOO-pid! 9. You're even prettier than my fantasy girlfriend. 8. I may look like an Ewok, but I'm all Wookie where it counts, baby. 7. Date, or date not-there is no let’s just friends be. 6. If you only knew the power of the Dork Side. 5. How’s about a long time of Joe, in a bedroom not far away? 4. Nice buns, princess! On your head, that is. 3. Honey, you’ve been looking for love in Alderaan places! 2. If I said you had a mint first-edition, still-in-the-box action figure, would you hold it against me? 1. I'm gonna be an evil warlord when I grow up. Want a Milk Dud? AAADD ~~~~~~ [Thanks Val!] I just wanted to let you know that I have recently been diagnosed with AAADD - Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it goes... I decide to do the laundry, start down the hall and notice the newspaper on the table.  OK, I'm going to do the laundry...BUT FIRST I'm going to read the newspaper. After that, I notice the mail on the table. OK, I'll just put the newspaper in the recycle stack.... BUT FIRST I'll look through the pile of mail and see if there are any bills to be paid. Yes, Now where is the checkbook? Oops.. there's the empty glass from yesterday on the coffee table. I'm going to look for that checkbook... BUT FIRST I need to put the glass in the sink. I head for the kitchen, look out the window, notice my poor flowers need a drink of water, I  put the glass in the sink and there's the remote for the TV on the kitchen counter. What's it doing here? I'll just put it   away... BUT FIRST I need to water those plants. I head for the door and...Aaaagh! Dog in the way. Dog needs to be fed. Okay, I'll put the remote away and water the plants... BUT FIRST I need to feed the dog. END OF DAY: Laundry is not done, newspapers are still on the floor, glass is still in the sink, bills are not paid, checkbook is still lost, and the dog ate the remote control...And, when I try   to figure out how come nothing got done today, I'm baffled because... I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY! I realize this condition is serious...I'll get help...    BUT FIRST...I think I'll check my e-mail ... TELL ME THIS IS NOT A JOKE! ------------------------------------ We recommends products we personally use, like this incredible Click4Prepaid CALLING CARD. Sign up online. Check out the neat features. And check the prices: * Works worldwide (via web enabled CALLBACK)! * No Monthly Fees! No Hidden Fees! Get Click4Prepaid from GLOBALCOM: http://www.kahl.net/global ============================== TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION ============================== BERT IS EVIL ~~~~~~~~~~ Here's an amazing case of reality imitating art. It goes like this: 1) Dino Ignacio comes up with satirical "Bert is Evil" concept, builds website, wins prestigious Webby Award 2) concept catches on, an entire network of "Bert is Evil" sites sprouts up. Each add funny stories and photos of Bert in compromising situations. 3) one site comes up with photo of Bert and Osama bin Laden 4) print shop in Bangladesh wants to print posters of Osama. They search the web for "bin Laden" images and stumble across this photo of Bert & Osama 6) print shop prints photo for Bangladeshi protestors 7) international reporters photograph protestors in Dhaka with posters of Bert and Osama! 8) mainstream media realizes that Bert is on these Osama posters 9) Bert makes the news as henchman of bin Laden! Don't believe me? Look here to see what is going on: http://www.lindqvist.com/bert.php P.S. to see the original "Bert is Evil" site you'll need to hunt around, most of them have been taken down. --------------------------------------- BARGAIN HUNTING IN THE AMAZON --------------------------------------------- Amazon.com now has an Outlet! The biggest bargains throughout the Amazon.com universe are here. > Up to 50% off toys and electronics and up to 60% off kitchen essentials > books for less than 5 bucks, CDs for less than $7, and a slew of videos for under $10? Using this link choose OUTLET from the Store Directory: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect-home/kahlconsultants ========= JOKESITES ========= MAD BLAST ~~~~~~~~~ Do you get a kick out of silly cartoons? There's a decent selection at MadBlast using the flash plugin. MadBlast http://www.madblast.com/ Thanks to all who wrote in. If I recycled one of your jokes be proud, you joker. Cheers! Alex Kahl Consultants THE PLUG ======== Having fun at work? How has your business been performing? Let Kahl Consultants help. Technology. Use it appropriately. Put it in our hands. KAHL CONSULTANTS Visit us at http://www.kahl.net ============== THE PUNCH LINE ============== WHY MEN MAKE POOR SECRETARIES ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Thanks Dad!] Husband's note on refrigerator to his wife: Someone from the Guyna College called. They said Pabst beer is normal. {¨} If you got this far you probably wet your pants uncontrollably. Share this warm feeling with others!! Remember, the best things in life are free. |< <