KC JOKEFLASH SEPT 2003 | Vol.5, No. 7-9

Stay silly in a craaaaazy world.
Read JokeFlash:
http://www.kahl.net/jokeflash/

0nLy ThE f1nE5T rE©Y©LeD j0|<E$ f0r @LLl @Ge5.


==========
NEWSJOKES
==========
SEXY MEN
~~~~~~~~~
Here's a letter from the Opinion section of the Purdue University Exponent:

What’s with the all the cross-dressers on campus? I went here two years without seeing a single cross-dresser and now in the first week of my third year I have already seen 16. Sixteen! What’s the deal, yo?

I respect their choice of lifestyle and all, but it still makes me a little uncomfortable. It’s quite disturbing when I’m sauntering to class with fellow chums and say, "Holy potatoes! Look at that hottie," and then upon closer inspection notice a mustache above her lip and a bulge in her trousers. I’m very secure in my heterosexuality, but I can’t help but feel a bit dirty scoping out another man. I’ll be honest with you though, I myself have also dressed up like a Catholic schoolgirl a couple times in my day, but in my defense, alcohol and narcotics were a major factor.

Its nice to see that people on campus are expressing themselves freely, and who knows, maybe some of these people genuinely believe that clothing intended for the other sex is just straight up more comfortable. So, I guess what I’m trying to say is, not that you guys out there who dress up like women should stop, just that you should try not to look so damn sexy, so that I don’t check you out anymore.

Jim Robber
Junior, School of Liberal Arts



============
!!JOKEFLASH!!
============
BAD MEXICAN JOKE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two Mexicans have been lost in the desert for weeks. At death's door, they see a tree in the distance. As they get nearer, they see that it's covered with rasher upon rasher of bacon: smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life-giving, nearly-raw juicy bacon, all sorts of bacon.

"Hey, Pepe" says the first Mexican, "ees a bacon tree! We're saved!!" So Pepe goes on ahead and runs up to the tree.

As he gets to within five feet, he's gunned down in a hail of bullets.

His friend drops down on the sand and calls across to the dying Pepe. "Pepe!! Pepe!! Que pasa hombre?"

With his last breath Pepe calls out, "Ugh, run, amigo, run, ees not a bacon tree... ... ees a ham bush"



YAKKITY YAK...
---------------------
C'mon, you gotta try this out! Great LONG DISTANCE RATES with GLOBALCOM.

No gimmicks, no joke. We love this service!
* Works worldwide (web enabled CALLBACK)!
* No Monthly Fees! No Hidden Fees!

Talk for hours...we know you'll love Click4Prepaid from GLOBALCOM:
http://www.kahl.net/global/


BAD GRIZZLY JOKE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Russian scientist and a Czechoslovakian scientist had spent their lives studying the grizzly bear.

Each year they petitioned their respective governments to allow them to go to Yellowstone to study the bears.

Finally their request was granted, and they immediately flew to NY and on west to Yellowstone. They reported to the ranger station and were told that it was the grizzly mating season and it was too dangerous to go out and study the animals.

They pleaded that this was their only chance and finally the ranger relented. The Russian and the Czech were given portable phones and told to report in every day.

For several days they called in, and then nothing was heard from the two scientists. The rangers mounted a search party and found the camp completely ravaged with no sign of the missing men.

They followed the trail of a male and a female bear. They found the female and decided they must kill the animal to find out if she had eaten the scientist because they feared an international incident. They killed the female animal and opened the stomach to find the remains of the Russian.

One ranger turned to the other and said, "You know what this means,don't you?" Brace yourself............


The other ranger responded, "Of course--the Czech is in the male."



==============================
TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION
==============================
THANKS TO THE INTERNET
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The story below ran online at www.thisistrue.com. What happened after could only happen in the Twilight Zone of the Internet.

A Girl's Best Friend

A clerk at a jewelry store inside the Caesars Palace casino in Las Vegas, Nev., said Lori Carroll, 32, asked to see a one-carat diamond ring. He handed it over ...and it immediately disappeared. Police searched her, but didn't find it, so she was taken to a hospital and X-rayed. Sure enough, police say, she had swallowed it. Carroll was charged with burglary, grand larceny and possession of stolen property, and the $4,000 ring "reappeared" in the jail's medical ward 10 days later. "We went down and identified" it, the store manager said. "It still had our price tag on it." (AP) ...Ten days? Lori, you're eating the wrong kind of carrots.

A year later thisistrue.com got the following letter from "D.S." in Arizona:

This is true -- how I found you: I decided to correspond with a woman in prison whom I found through a site set up for that. I thought, what the heck. Anyway, she wrote me back and gave me some song and dance about how she's incarcerated for something or other relating to abuse of self-medicating drugs. Just for the fun of it, I typed her name into Google and got lots of hits, most of them irrelevant. However, [one hit was] your newsletter from Dec 99. Seems this lady tried to steal a one carat diamond ring from a jewelry store in Caesar's Palace by swallowing it! I called the Nevada Department of Prisons and they confirmed that this was the same person. She's doing five-to-ten for burglary, although her ad says she's getting out after two years. (DOP says it's unlikely she'll be paroled before five years.) Another article I turned up said she's got several felony theft convictions in her home state as well, although Nevada chose not to prosecute her as a "career criminal" because she's not done time before. So, your fine newsletter saved me a ton of hassles!

The lesson is clear: never date anyone who has appeared as a subject in This is True!




KC WEB HOSTING
-----------------------
Kahl Consultants offers WEB SERVICES and HOSTING for small business.

* World Class Hosting with Personal Attention
* Online Marketing Plans
* Traffic Analysis
* Search Engine Registration

$220 per year (one month free!)

All this and more here:
http://www.kahl.net/hosting



=========
JOKESITES
=========
AMAZING PING PONG
==================
[Thanks Julie and Val!]

You'll laugh until you cry!
You'll be amazed!
You'll play this over and over to figure out how they did it!

This is a little video of the world's greatest ping pong players... I won't say any more because i don't want to spoil the surprise!

http://www.ntv.co.jp/channel/kasoh/kin10.html

P.S. You may be asked to install some Japanese fonts - you can safely ignore or cancel this request.


Thanks to all who wrote in.
If I recycled one of your jokes be proud, you joker.
Remember, the best things in life are free.

Cheers!
Alex

P.S. If you got this far you probably wet your pants uncontrollably.
Share this warm feeling with others!!

KC JOKEFLASH
Online: http://www.kahl.net/jokeflash/



==============
THE PUNCH LINE
==============
ORDER OF LETTERS NOT IPRMOETNT?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[Thanks Peter!]

Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pclae.

The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe and the biran fguiers it out aynawy.


{¨}


LET KC HELP
===========
Let KC help market your business online!
Technology. Use it appropriately. Put it in our hands.
KAHL CONSULTANTS
Visit us: http://www.kahl.net



|< <