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KC News 2/2000
Disaster Special
Vol.2, No.2

KC News by Kahl Consultants.
Technology. Use it appropriately. Put it in our hands.
Visit http://www.kahl.net

Winter time brings storms, floods, and other disasters. Prepare to take emergency action!

Y2K

WELCOME TO THE YEAR 19100!
Well, at least that is what my laptop running WINDOWS 95 seemed to think on January 1. We had a heart to heart and I convinced it otherwise.

You might also be experiencing Y2K related GLITCHES. DON'T PANIC! Our Y2K ALERT site has all the latest advice.

FIX YOUR GLITCH:
http://www.kahl.net/y2k

WORD OF THE MONTH

MODEM SCHMODEM
A MODEM is a MOdulator, DEModulator. A what? Uh, a device connected to your computer that goes Brrrr... Beee, Baaa when you try to use it. Not figured out the purpose of a modem? Then you are probably not reading this e-zine! Good advice: stick to name brand modems!

Here are some very handy links:
Modem Doctor Homepage
Modem Express
modems.com
The Official 56K Modem Web Site

TECHNOTIP

MIGHTY MESSY MOUSE
I have stopped counting how many times I have visited clients who have NEVER CLEANED their mouse! It's really easy and it does wonders. Here's how to DO IT RIGHT!

A mouse picks up dirt from the work surface or mouse pad. It transfers that stuff to the rollers that sense the mouse's position. The rollers get gunked-up and the pointer stutters.

Cleaning materials:
- isopropyl alcohol
- Q-Tips

First turn off your PC. Clean the outside first using the alcohol or ordinary glass cleaner on a paper towel or rag.

Flip the mouse on its back and remove the ball. How? Usually a retaining ring keeps the ball in place, so TURN THE RING and it pops off. Wash off the mouse ball with alcohol. Use a compressed air can (the photography kind) to blow all the dirt out of the mouse opening.

See the two wide rollers and one little corner roller? Dip a Q-Tip in alcohol and clean all three rollers gently. Dry off the rollers with a dry swab, and make sure they move freely. Repeat this process every few months, or whenever the pointer starts behaving strangely.

I WANT MY WEB TV
Ever wonder what size your web sites should be? Or how to design so that the most users and the most browsers can see everything? Well consider that WebTV users have no ability to scroll horizontally, so anything beyond 544 pixels will be compressed by their browser. Some other devices may be even more limited. Bottom line: stick with 500 pixels or less.

Take a look at our FAQs & Tips:
http://www.kahl.net/tools/tips.html

CALIFORNIANS GO GREEN!

It's a new year - time for some new habits! Make the easy switch to clean green energy for your home. No gimmicks here, and no hassles. Just cheaper, cleaner, better. Just like changing your phone company! This really is the best deal, and everybody wins! Get clean electricity online:
http://www.kahl.net/energy

Or just CALL toll-free 1-877-GO-CLEEN (462-5336) or 1-888-425-3361
Mention Alex Kahl as your agent and I get a referral buck.
Come clean, Go green!

SITES FOR SORE EYES

LIGHTS, CAMERA, EMERGENCY ACTION
The Emergency Action site will help you be prepared and self-sufficient in case of disaster. It is based on Emergency Response Training from Fire Departments in CA.

Have you got your emergency supply kits stowed away? Did you come up with a family plan? Learn what to do BEFORE, DURING, and AFTER DISASTER STRIKES. Hey Californians, know what to do about earthquakes?

Emergency Action:
http://www.kahl.net/action

ONLINE SHOPPING!

Even with the holiday over, you can still order books and music online at a great price. Go shopping without the long lines, and please support KC News!

Use this link:
ttp://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect-home/kahlconsultants

We offer you discounted books and music in association with amazon.com.

Hardware Shopping Begins Here
Always remember - if you shop for computer hardware or software, find the best deals here:
http://www.kahl.net/shopping

KC TIPS

WINDOWS CRITICAL UPDATES
Windows 98 bug fixes, patches, add-ons, and so on - it can be impossible to keep track of what you do and don't have. Windows Update is the only way to download updates to Windows 98.

Select Start, Windows Update, and complete the steps necessary to go online, if you aren't already. Or go to:

http://windowsupdate.microsoft.com

Select from the list--particularly the Critical updates, which appear first.

WinTips

BILL MOVES, WINDOWS ROTS
BILL GATES stepped aside as CEO of Microsoft a quarter of a century after founding the company with Paul Allen. Both were still at Harvard at the time.

Gates remains chairman and becomes ''chief software architect.'' Management of the company is left to current president STEVE BALLMER. He was a friend of the co-founders when the company began.

As you know Microsoft is STILL THREATENED with a court-ordered BREAKUP. The U.S. government and 19 states convinced a federal judge that Microsoft engaged in anti-competitive behavior.

Did you know Windows suffers from "OPERATING SYSTEM ROT"? That's right, in case you didn't realize it, the longer it's installed, the more programs and drivers it deals with over the years, the less stable it gets. It rots!

Microsoft offers some help: REGCLEAN 4.1 for Win95 and REGCLEAN32 for Win98. But the ONLY REAL CURE is a FRESH INSTALLATION of WINDOWS. Do it annually, just like you take your car for a checkup.

Bookmark our FAQ Tips site! WinTips, WebTips, ImageTips, Shopping Tips and more:
http://www.kahl.net/tools/tips.html

Keyboard Shortcut Du Jour

I LOVE ALTERNATE SPACE

Tired of dragging mighty mouse waaaay up to the right corner of a window to minimize, maximize, or close? Forget about those teeny-tiny caption buttons altogether! Use these keyboard shortcuts:

Press Alt-Spacebar and then press:

N to minimize the active window
X to maximize it
R to restore it (from maximized view)
C to close it

Bookmark the entire list of shortcuts at:
http://www.kahl.net/tools/wintips.html

AOTM (Acronym of the Month)

As promised last month: more internet acronyms! Whee!

LAN
Local Area Network. A kind of mini Internet between locally connected computers, often in a business. Gets into Intranets, Firewalls, etc., which are topics for another day.

FTP
File Transfer Protocol. The protocol used to transfer files from one computer to another over the Internet. It is what you use to upload your files to your web server.

PERL
Practical Extraction and Report Language. The most common scripting language for processing Form data. Works great with HTML

CGI
Common Gateway Interface. A protocol for GATHERING DATA FROM A FORM and sending it to a program or Script such as Perl. Often used to indicate the entire method for processing a Form but in fact it is only a transfer interface.

Handy Acronym Links (or HAL):
BABEL : A Glossary of Computer Oriented Abbreviations and Acronyms
http://www.access.digex.net:80/~ikind/babel.html

Acronym Finder: Look up 119,400+ acronyms/abbreviations & their meanings
http://www.AcronymFinder.com

!!Hoax & Virus Alert!!

Remember kids: don't go out playing on the internet befire you scan the latest info on viruses and hoax emails here:
http://www.kahl.net/hoax

The Gift of Gab

Anyone on earth is just a phone call away! Let GlobalCom find you the best long distance rates! For your family and friends out of state and abroad.

Examples:

Voicenet calling cards for 13.9 cents/min calls from/to any phone in the USA.
Interstate 4.9 cents/min.
Intrastate 7.9 cents/min.

Support KC News and check out the GREAT NEW offers that your communications agent Alex Kahl provides you via GlobalCom. Give the gift of gab:

http://www.kahl.net/global

NetTips

FREE PHONE CALLS - Coming next month!

HELP MEEEEE!
Are you drowning in computer problems? Before you go and hire some so called expert, use these great web sites to help yourself:

http://www.thetechpage.com/
http://www.NoWonder.com/
http://www.techpointer.com/
http://www.free-help.com/
http://www.nowonder.com/
http://www.softhelp.com/

Stay high and dry, and DON'T FORGET TO BACKUP REGULARLY!!!

Cheers,

Alex
Kahl Consultants
http://www.kahl.net

THE PLUG

How has your small business or organization been performing lately? Do you have enough clients? Do you want enhance your presence on the net? Our latest clients include:

Law Offices of Reid, Axelrod, Ruane & McCormack
http://www.rarmlaw.com

Technology. Use it appropriately. Put it in our hands. Kahl Consultants are always at your service at http://www.kahl.net

If you got this far you obviously enjoyed KC News. Pass it on!
Please forward it to a handful of your friends. Remember, the best things in life are free.

THE PUNCH LINE

WHAT IF AOL MADE A CAR?
1. The AOL car would have a TOP speed of 40 MPH yet have a 200 MPH Speedometer.
2. The AOL car would come equipped with a NEW and fantastic 8-Track tape player.
3. The car would often refuse to start and owners would just expect this and try again later.
4. The windshield would have an extra dark tint to protect the driver from seeing better cars.
5. AOL would sell the same model car year after year and claim it's the NEW model.
6. Every now and then the brakes on the AOL car would just "lock-up" for no apparent reason.
7. The AOL car would have a very plain body style but would have lots'a of pretty colors and lights.
8. The AOL car would have only one door but it would have 5 extra seats for family members.
9. AOL car mechanics would have no experience whatsoever in car repair.
10. If an AOL car owner received 3 parking tickets AOL would take the car off of them.
11. The AOL car would have an AOL Cell phone that can only place calls to other AOL car cell phones.
12. AOL would pass a new car law forbidding AOL car owners from driving near other car dealerships.
13. Younger AOL car drivers would be able to make other peoples AOL cars stall just for fun.
14. It would not be possible to upgrade your AOL car stereo.
15. AOL cars would be forced to use AOL gas that cost 20% more and gave worse mileage.
16. Anytime an AOL car owner saw another AOL car owner he would wonder, M/F/age?
17. It would be common for AOL car owners to divorce just to marry another AOL car owner.
18. AOL car owners would always claim to be older or younger than they really are.
19. AOL cars would come with a steering wheel and AOL would claim no other cars have them.
20. Every time you close the door on the AOL car it would say,"Good-Bye."

The Fine Print

* CTRL: Control Key (there are 2 of these on your pretty little keyboard)
* ESC: Escape key (top left of your keyboard)
* Home & End Keys: found next to the Page Up and Page Down keys, to the
right of the alphanumeric portion of your keyboard (even on laptops)
* Keyboard combinations: hold down the first key, then press second key shortly

MORE TIPS????
NetTools has the entire collection:
http://www.kahl.net/tools/tips.html

Kahl Consultants
P.O.Box 4284
San Rafael, CA 94903-4284
USA
Tel: +1-415-499 0838
Fax: +1-415-499 0833
www.kahl.net
Contact us

The award-winning Kahl Consultants. Helping small business in San Francisco Bay, Marin, Sonoma and globally.
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