KC News 6 2001

TABLE OF CONTENTS
-----------------------------
WINDOWS KEY
FKEY NOW AVAILABLE
VOICE
PRINTER CARTRIDGE RECYCLING
WEBSITE MARKETING 101
FREE GRAPHICS SOFTWARE ADD-ONS
SOHO
KILLER IN THE BACK SEAT IS BACK
FIX NETSCAPE PART 2
FREE KC E-ZINES
TECH SUPPORT FROM HELL

====================
Keyboard Shortcut Du Jour
====================
WINDOWS KEY
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fans of this column know that it is devoted to using the KEYBOARD instead of the MOUSE to perform tasks. Why? Using a keyboard is FASTER and HEALTHIER than using a mouse!

Modern PC keyboards come with several new keys, the most important one being the Windows Logo Key or WinKey. There are two WinKeys, one on each side of the space bar. Might be worth buying a new keyboard just to use them! This month lets look again at the wonders of the WINDOWS KEY.

Here's how these shortcuts work - step by step:
(1) First press and HOLD DOWN the "WinKey." It's the keyboard button with the microsoft window logo on it (note: older keyboards don't have this key)
(2) Then shortly press any other key as required and let go.

WINKEY SHORTCUT LIST
-----------------------------------
1. WinKey:           Start Menu (betcha knew that!)
2. WinKey + D:    Minimize or restore all windows (either jump to desktop or open all windows)
3. WinKey + E:    Windows Explorer (NOT the Internet Explorer)
4. WinKey + F:     Find: All Files (search for any file or folder)
5. WinKey + CTRL + F:   Find: Computer
6. Windows + F1: Windows Help
7. WinKey + L:     Log off Windows
8. WinKey + M:    Minimizes all dialog boxes ("windows") with minimize buttons; get to your desktop on the double! Say you opened a lot of windows and you want to see your desktop. Don't touch that mouse! press Windows-M.
9. WinKey + SHIFT + M:   Undo minimize all windows; maximize all dialog boxes ("windows") that are minimized
10.WinKey + PAUSE/BREAK: System Properties dialog box (BEWARE!! only for experts!!)
11.WinKey + R: Run command
12.WinKey + TAB:   Cycle through the Task bar buttons

MONEY-SAVING RANKINGS
   Best sites for comparison shopping and reviews.
* "SWEET SPOT" SHOPPING LISTS
   DESKTOPs and LAPTOPs. Best price-to-quality!
* GREEN PC Section
   Helps you save energy.

JUNE DEAL$:
* Umax 2000U USB SCANNER 600 x 1200 dpi ONLY $29.99
* EDUCATIONAL and GAMING Software from ONLY $3.96
* Logitech CORDLESS Keyboard & Mouse ONLY $89.99

===============
HOUSEHOLD ITEM
===============
FKEY NOW AVAILABLE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Have you mastered the CUT, COPY and PASTE functions? They you probably have come to a point where you often need to copy the same text over and over again, like a standard email reply... or your address... or some long website address.

Kahl Consultants has a TIME SAVING program to help out. Fkey is SHAREWARE developed exclusively for Kahl Consultants. FKEY has been tried and tested by us for years, and is now available on our site.

FKEY is your key to making repeat tasks easier! This tiny (100 k), extremely useful Windows shareware. FKEY stands for Function Key applet, and it lets you use the Function Keys on your keyboard to simplify repeated tasks. It's one of those simple programs that will never crash, loads instantly, and does just one thing but does it just right.

===================
WORD OF THE MONTH
===================
VOICE CONTROL
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Voice Control? Yes, voice! Not keyboard, not mouse, but VOICE. Although you probably know that voice controlled software has been around for years, what is exciting is that this technology is now (finally) ready for prime time. Soon you'll be talking to a machine. Maybe through a microphone to your computer. Or to your car. Or via the telephone as in this example:

What's so great about it? FREE PHONE CALLS! FREE DRIVING DIRECTIONS! And stock quotes, news, sports, movie listings and more! Everything is VOICE CONTROLLED.

FREE PHONE CALLS:
- Say PHONE BOOTH, then say or dial the 10 digit phone number of the person you'd like to call.
- There are limits to the call duration and you can only call the same number twice a day (HEY, IT'S FREE!).

FREE DRIVING DIRECTIONS:
- Say DRIVING DIRECTIONS, then the city and state where you need directions.
- Name the street, then say the address number or the closest intersection of your location.
- Say the city and state, then the address or intersection of your final destination.

How does TELLME work? Simple, the service uses advanced voice activation to link you up with a website that offers all these features.

==================
SITES FOR SORE EYES
==================
PRINTER CARTRIDGE RECYCLING
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was at the post office the other day and stumbled across a stack of envelopes that said "DO SOMETHING NICE FOR OUR ENVIRONMENT"

These FREE POSTAGE PAID envelopes can be used to send your empty printer cartridges to a recycling facility. What a great WIN-WIN idea! Get the free envelope, drop in your cartridge, pop it in the mail, and you're done.

There are also companies who will actually pay you money for your old cartridges. Anywhere from one to two dollars, depending on the type.

Check your post office for the envelopes. Here's where to get them for free online:

BARGAIN HUNTING IN THE AMAZON
---------------------------------------------
Amazon.com now has an Outlet! The biggest bargains throughout the Amazon.com universe are here.
> Up to 50% off toys and electronics and up to 60% off kitchen essentials
> books for less than 5 bucks, CDs for less than $7, and a slew of videos for under $10?

======
KC TIPS
======
WEBSITE MARKETING 101
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Got a business you want to promote? Here's a quick, effective lesson in online marketing!

FIRST STEP: RESEARCH
------------------------------
Check where you can find your site online. Use our TOP 10 SEARCH ENGINE PAGE:
http://www.kahl.net/tools/top10.htm

MY TIP: bookmark this TOP 10 page! I recommend it for quick internet searches. I even set my browser to make it my default starting page.

Enter your company name (and variations thereof) in each search engine link. Do you show up in the results? Also enter search phrases related to your business. Put yourself in the shoes of your customers, and say to yourself "what key words would i enter in a search engine if I were looking for a business like mine?"

Take good notes:
- determine which search engines you still need to list yourself with
- note the other sites that crop up in your search - some are your competition

Initially you won't find your site listed in too many places. repeat this step every few months and watch how your listings increase!

SECOND STEP: STRATEGY
----------------------------------
A successful marketing strategy is an absolute must. Integrate your online and off-line marketing efforts. Take one hour to lay out a play. Update it regularly.

SHORT TERM:
Purchasing Advertising - ezine advertising, banner advertising and classified ads. Set aside a small annual budget for this.

Bulletin Boards - find the bulletin boards that are visited by your customers. Leave your mark by answering questions, providing comments and suggestions, and telling others about your goods or services.

Search Engines - Search Engine ranking is a never-ending battle. It is important to submit your web site to Search Engines, but don't waste too much time trying to keep a high ranking -- there are too many other more effective marketing techniques.

LONG TERM:
Opt-in Email lists - Ask visitors for their name and email address. Offer a valuable publication, a free course or some other "fish food" (see freebies below). Building your opt-in lists to create a database of potential customers. In fact this KC News newsletter you are reading is a good example.

Freebies - Fish Food! That's what they call a giveaway on the web. Something of value, preferably with your name, business, product or service on it. Got any software you've created, a free ebook, free training, or any other free goods? Give something that can be freely distributed. If your freebie is good, it will quickly saturate the Internet and continue to circulate eternally.

Content - free content such as articles, tutorials, tips, reports is a highly sought after commodity. Get free exposure with free content!

THIRD STEP: PROMOTION
-----------------------------------
Use the handy FREE TOOLS on our SITE SUBMISSION PAGE to register yourself with top search engines:
http://www.kahl.net/tools/siteregister.htm

In the main menu click "Registration." You'll see a list of search engine icons under "Site Registration". Each icon takes you to the proper page for site registration. Only register with search engines that you are NOT listed with (i.e. don't double register). This should all be FREE.

Also click "Multiple Submission." There are several useful tools here to do multiple submissions - i.e. Register with several search engines at once!

First try Netmechanic - a free sampler submits your site to 12 popular search engines in 3 minutes. They email you confirmation of your registrations! only use the free service - don't pay any money.

Finally, read the marketing tips at the bottom. And contact us if you would like our assistance.

=======
WinTips
=======
FREE GRAPHICS SOFTWARE ADD-ONS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What type of graphics guru are you?

(a) a novice - you probably just got a digicam and now you're ready to dive into the world of digital image editing

Sure PhotoShop is great, but it has a very steep learning curve. And with the help of filters, PSP can perform almost any function that high end graphics programs like PhotoShop can.

If you are type (b) or (c) you should know that there are hundreds of FREE plug-in filters available on the web.

A plug-in filter is basically a shortcut to the more complex procedures. With plug-ins, you can create professional graphics and special effects with a click of the mouse.

Here are four sites that offer free plug-ins as well as tutorials, tubes, masks and other goodies to pep up your graphics:

MY TIP: Most PhotoShop plug-ins work well with Paint Shop Pro. Except plug-ins that use PhotoShop transparency settings.

=======================
AOTM (Acronym of the Month)
=======================
SOHO
~~~~~
Stands for Small Office, Home Office. In other words, folks like Kahl Consultants, it's associates, and it's clients.

Handy Acronym Links (or HAL):
BABEL : A Glossary of Computer Oriented Abbreviations and Acronyms
http://online.dossnet.com/babel.htm

================
!!Hoax & Virus Alert!!
================
KILLER IN THE BACK SEAT IS BACK
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This month we had a bumper crop of fake emails! Yes, it's true, nearly ALL internet warnings are fake.

FAKE URBAN LEGENDS!
(1) "The Killer in the Back seat" is FAKE. In fact this urban legend is over three decades old. (2) The bonsai kitty story is FAKE. Don't call the ASPCA on this one. (3) The warning about hypodermic needles under gas pump handles is FAKE.

FAKE VIRUS WARNINGS!
(1) The warning about "A Virtual Card for You" is FAKE. (2) The letter that tells you to delete the SUFLBNK.EXE file is fake. This file is part of Windows, so keep it!

FAKE PETITIONS!
(1) The Gas Boycott Petition is fake. And fooling people since 1999. Remember, to be effective, a consumer boycott must be planned and organized. Anonymous, randomly distributed chain letters such as this one might succeed in pumping up outrage, but little else. (2) The anti drunk driving petition with the poem entitled "I Went To A Party, Mom" is FAKE. Yes, drunk driving is a serious problem. But this petition is a hoax and will NOT help solve anything. The poem originally appeared in the book "Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul". Mothers against Drunk Driving (MADD) does not endorse this petition.

SO WHAT'S REAL?
Is there anything that ISN'T fake? Yup, there really is a "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" WORM going around. A worm is similar to a virus. Also called W95.Hybris, it is a worm that spreads by email as an attachment to outgoing email messages. The subject may usually reads "hahaha-@-sexyfun.net" or "Snow White and the Seven dwarves". DELETE THIS!! Otherwise you'll send it to everyone in your address book.

Remember kids, play it safe on the net. Don't trust internet fairy tales. Scan for virii and verify your emails here:
http://www.kahl.net/hoax

=======
NetTips
=======
FIX NETSCAPE PART 2
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Continuing where we left off last month... Netscape users may run into this problem: Netscape freezes while loading your Address book. Maybe you even tried last months tips to restore your address book and they didn't help? Well then your Netscape preferences may have become damaged as well. Time to recreate the preferences!

1.Shut down Communicator.
2.Go to the Start menu, go to Programs, go to the Netscape Communicator menu, go into Utilities, and choose User Profile Manager.
3.Create a new profile for yourself using all of the information from your old profile (i.e. Mail server settings) except make sure to name the profile something different so that it doesn't overwrite your old profile.
4.Now check to make sure that the new profile is working. If it is you can shut down Communicator.
5.Now open up Explorer, go to your User directory: C:\Program Files\Netscape\Users\ and then the old profile name, and copy the Mail folder, the News folder, the bookmark.htm file, and the abook.nab file, and any .na2 files into the new profile directory.
6.Check to make sure that everything is working and go back to the User Profile Manager to delete your old profile.

For Navigator:
You may have a corrupt address.htm file, bookmark.htm file, or a corrupt Mail folder.
1.Shut down Netscape.
2.Using Windows Explorer go into your Navigator directory (By default it is usually C:\Program Files\Netscape\Navigator) and rename the Mail folder to Oldmail, the address.htm to address.old, and the bookmark.htm to bookmark.old.
3.Remove both the Cache folder and the netscape.hst file.
4.When you restart Netscape, a new Mail folder, address book, bookmark file, Cache folder, and History file will be automatically created for you.
5.Check to make sure that the new items are working and that Netscape is no longer crashing.

Mail:
Shut Netscape, go to the Oldmail folder, copy the mail folders you wish to keep (i.e. Inbox) into your new Mail folder.

Bookmarks:
Go to Address Book menu. Choose Edit Address Book. In the Bookmark window go to File menu, choose Import. Select the bookmark.old file to import them into your current bookmark file.

Address Book:
Go to Address Book menu. In the Address Book window go to File menu, choose Import. Select address.old to import them.

FREE KC E-ZINES
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You already know about our free monthly KC NEWS electronic magazine ("E-Zine") because you are reading it. From your letters we know that you value the practical computer and internet tips in KC NEWS.

But do you know about all the other free KC publications? You can sign up for any and all of them at no cost!

JOKEFLASH
~~~~~~~~~~~
Monthly dose of fine recycled jokes for all ages.
Stay silly in a crazy world!
Web: http://www.kahl.net/jokeflash

KC CLICK
~~~~~~~~~
One attention grabbing file per week.
Graphic, audio, or video - always unusual or offbeat!
Web: http://www.kahl.net/kcclick

ASTRONEWS
~~~~~~~~~~~
Monthly astronomy, space, and ET news for all.
Out of this world news!
Web: http://www.kahl.net/astro

GLOBENEWS
~~~~~~~~~~~
Monthly international events, environment, and travel tips.
Must read for the global citizen!
Web: http://www.kahl.net/globenews

And that's about it. Now turn off your computer. Go to your local park and breathe some fresh air. It's still free.

Alex
Kahl Consultants
http://www.kahl.net
Technology. Use it appropriately. Put it in our hands.

THE PLUG
========
Is your small business or organization performing? Have enough clients? Want to enhance your net presence? Our clients include:

Country Homes Campers
http://www.countryhomescampers.com
(camping enthusiasts take note: they have a great deal on a preowned 1993 Aerostar Camper!)

If you got this far you obviously enjoyed KC News. Pass it on!
Please forward it to a handful of your friends. Remember, the best things in life are free.

THE PUNCH LINE
==============
TECH SUPPORT FROM HELL
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[Thanks Karen!]

Tech Support: "OK Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech Support: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"

Overheard in a computer shop:
Customer: "I'd like a mouse mat, please."
Salesperson: "Certainly sir, we've got a large variety."
Customer: "But will they be compatible with my computer?"

I once received a fax with a note on the bottom to fax the document back to the sender when I was finished with it, because he needed to keep it.

I work for a local ISP. Frequently we receive phone calls that start something like this:
Customer: "Hi. Is this the Internet?"

Customer: "So that'll get me connected to the Internet, right?"
Tech Support: "Yeah."
Customer: "And that's the latest version of the Internet, right?"
Tech Support: "Uhh...uh...uh...yeah."

Tech Support: "All right...now double-click on the File Manager icon."
Customer: "That's why I hate this Windows - because of the icons - I'm a Protestant, and I don't believe in icons."
Tech Support: "Well, that's just an industry term sir. I don't believe it was meant to-"
Customer: "I don't care about any 'Industry Terms'. I don't believe in icons."
Tech Support: "Well...why don't you click on the 'little picture' of a filing cabinet...is 'little picture' OK?"
Customer: [click]

Customer: "My computer crashed!"
Tech Support: "It crashed?"
Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game."
Tech Support: "All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot."
Customer: "No, it didn't crash-it crashed."
Tech Support: "Huh?"
Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said before. I crashed my spaceship and now it doesn't work."
Tech Support: "Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.'"
Customer: [pause] "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?"

Got a call from a woman said that her laser printer was having problems: the bottom half of her printed sheets were coming out blurry. It seemed strange that the printer was smearing only the bottom half. I walked her through the basics, then went over and printed out a test sheet. It printed fine. I asked her to print a sheet, so she sent a job to the printer.
As the paper started coming out, she yanked it out and showed it to me. I told her to wait until the paper came out on its own.
Problem solved.

I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve.
She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. For instance, green is a combination of cyan and yellow, but green printed fine.
Every color of the rainbow printed fine except for yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges. I had the customer delete and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my coworkers for help; they offered no new ideas.
After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of this yellow paper?"

A man attempting to set up his new printer called the printer's tech support number, complaining about the error message: "Can't find the printer." On the phone, the man said he even held the printer up in front of the screen, but the computer still couldn't find it.

And another user was all confused about why the cursor always moved in the opposite direction from the movement of the mouse. She also complained that the buttons were difficult to depress. She was very embarrassed when we asked her to rotate the mouse so the tail pointed away from her.

Customer: "Hello? I'm trying to dial in. I installed the software okay, and it dialed fine. I could hear that. Then I could hear the two computers connecting. But then the sound all stopped, so I picked up the phone to see if they were still connected, and I got the message, 'No carrier,' on my screen. What's wrong?"

An unfailingly polite lady called to ask for help with a Windows installation that had gone terribly wrong.
Customer: "I brought my Windows disks from work to install them on my home computer." Training stresses that we are "not the Software Police," so I let the little act of piracy slide.
Tech Support: "Umm-hmm. What happened?"
Customer: "As I put each disk in it turns out they weren't initialized."
Tech Support: "Do you remember the message exactly, ma'am?"
Customer: (proudly) "I wrote it down. 'This is not a Macintosh disk. Would you like to initialize it?'"
Tech Support: "Er, what happened next?"
Customer: "After they were initialized, all the disks appeared to be blank. And now I brought them back to work, and I can't read them in the A: drive; the PC wants to format them. And this is our only set of Windows disks for the whole office. Did I do something wrong?"

This guy calls in to complain that he gets an "Access Denied" message every time he logs in. It turned out he was typing his user name and password in capital letters.
Tech Support: "Ok, let's try once more, but use lower case letters."
Customer: "Uh, I only have capital letters on my keyboard."

My friend was on duty in the main lab on a quiet afternoon. He noticed a young woman sitting in front of one of the workstations with her arms crossed across her chest, staring at the screen. After about 15 minutes he noticed that she was still in the same position, only now she was impatiently tapping her foot. He asked if she needed help and she replied "It's about time! I pressed the F1 button over twenty minutes ago!"

Hey, you made it this far! You're still with us! Obviously you need a treat now... ready? Coming at you from the "HELP DESK FROM HELL" department. Ever had problems with tech support? The story about a Tech Support Guy named George will help you understand why! Enjoy!!

Kahl Consultants
P.O.Box 4284
San Rafael, CA 94903-4284
USA
Tel: +1-415-499 0838
Fax: +1-415-499 0833
www.kahl.net
Contact us

The award-winning Kahl Consultants. Helping small business in San Francisco Bay, Marin, Sonoma and globally.
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Technology
Use it appropriately
Put it in our hands