Lewinsky virus................
Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then emails everyone about it.

Ronald Reagan virus...........
Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

Dan Quail virus...............
Misspells everything.

Mike Tyson virus..............
Quits after one byte.

Evil Knieval virus............
Crashes your hard drive over and over again.

Oprah Winfrey virus...........
Your 200MB hard drive shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB.

Lorena Bobbit virus...........
Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy.

Viagra virus..................
Turns your 3.5 inch floppy into a hard disk.

Prozac virus..................
Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.

Dr. Jack Kervorkian virus......
Searches your hard drive for old files and deletes them.

Ellen Degeneres virus.........
Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC.

Titanic virus.................
Makes your whole computer go down.

Sam Kinison virus.............
Your pc makes random loud noises.

Microsoft virus...............
Forces you to reboot randomly.

Disney virus..................
Everything in the computer goes Goofy.

Tim Allen virus...............
Appears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive upon contact.

Woody Allen virus.............
Bypasses the motherboard and goes for the daughter card.

Saddam Hussein virus..........
Won't let you into any of your programs.

Valet virus...................
Parks the hard drive in the wrong spot.

Tonya Harding virus...........
Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons.

Joey Buttafuoco virus.........
Only attacks minor files.

X-files virus................
All your Icons start shape shifting.

Spice Girl virus..............
Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop.

New York virus................
Turns your computer into an Apple.

AT&T virus....................
Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus...........
Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.